


Disillusioned (The Monster or The Scorned?)

by Kattythingz



Series: To Be a King Beside You [2]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Ed just lost his bf give him a break, Established Relationship, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, I actually wrote sth w/out fluff, I'm so sorry, M/M, No Fluff, Slight Cursing, Wow, but also poor greed, cuz ed, even if it kills me to hurt Greed like this, he deserves to be a little salty, implied one-sided greed/Ed, poor bby ed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:01:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24675031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kattythingz/pseuds/Kattythingz
Summary: In the heat of the moment, all the memories in his heart spun like a broken record in his head. All he could see was Ling’s face, Ling’s hair, Ling’s hands. Just Ling. Every day he woke up and saw that face, a small tiny voice in his head called pathetically for Ling, saying that it has to be him. But it’s not.It’s a monster that stole his skin and walked around like he owned it.OR: Ed is still trying to cope with the fact that Ling isn't Ling anymore, but it's kind of hard, and feelings are bound to spill. Just, flat-out angst and no fluff. I'm so sorry.
Relationships: Edward Elric & Greed, Edward Elric/Ling Yao
Series: To Be a King Beside You [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1583527
Comments: 10
Kudos: 119





	Disillusioned (The Monster or The Scorned?)

**Author's Note:**

> I have nothing to say except I'm sorry, cuz damn it I had a lot of feelings but I didn't think they'd spiral out of control like this. Enjoy this angst (aka SUFFER WITH ME). The mood might seem random with how it switches, but consider the mindset: Ed is VERY conflicted right now, so it's only natural that his emotions are all over the place.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: DUH.

“What the hell is your deal?”

“Excuse me?” Ed turned to face Li- no, _Greed_. That wasn’t Ling, it was just a monster wearing his face, which made looking him in the eye all the harder.

Greed noticed this, and he scowled. “That! What’s up with you not looking at me?”

Ed grit his teeth. There were a million words at the tip of tongue just waiting to be let loose, but he had to hold them back. If he started, he wouldn’t stop. And if he didn’t stop… Well, that wasn’t something he wanted Greed to see.

“How about ‘it’s none of your business’, asshole?” he replied, focusing back at the task at hand: collecting wood for the night’s campfire.

“How about ‘show your leader some respect’?” Greed threw back. He crossed his arms, giving Ed a sharp look. “I know when I’m being ignored, brat, and I don’t appreciate it.”

“You expect me to give a damn?” Ed grabbed another stick, focusing on steadying his breath. He just had to get through this. Once he was away from this jerk, he could-

Just as he was reaching out for another one, a firm hand stopped him. The familiar touch was a comforting weight on his arm, but as soon as his eyes caught sight of the tattoo, the pleasant tingle became an uneasy itch. This wasn’t Ling, but it was his hand-

And that made it all the worse.

“Don’t touch me,” he shrugged off the touch, glaring at the confused homunculus.

“I don’t get it,” Greed looked at him thoughtfully, his fine features falling into an endearing expression that Ed once would have kissed away. Now, all it did was twist the knots in his stomach further. 

“What about that don’t you get?” He said tightly. “It’s pretty straightforward.”

“No, not that,” Greed rolled his eyes. “I mean, you _obviously_ like me. You don't relax under the touch of someone you hate. So, what’s your deal?”

“I already said it’s _none of your business_ ,” Ed snarled. “Why don’t you take a hint and _leave me alone_?”

“Hey, none of that attitude!” Greed frowned. “I was just asking. As your leader, it’s only right that I ensure all my possessions are in sound shape-”

“Your _possessions_?” A spark of irritation ran through his blood, and Ed had to stop himself from reacting with his fists. “I am not your possession, you bastard! Just because we’re working together, doesn’t mean that you can go around calling us possessions. Especially not when-”

 _-you’re wearing his face_.

He caught himself last minute and bit his tongue. No, he can’t afford to be so vulnerable, not in the presence of a homunculus. 

Greed narrowed his eyes, catching the slip-up. “What? Especially _what_?”

Their eyes met in a heated battle, and Ed forced himself to look away. “Nothing. Let’s just head back-”

“Oh, nu-uh,” Greed growled. Grabbing his arm again, he pulled Ed toward him and forced him to look at him. “You are _not_ avoiding this again. Every time we get this far, you stop talking. Of all the times you choose to hold your tongue, you choose now? _Spill._ ”

Straightening his spine, Ed glared right back at him and spat, “I don’t owe you _shit_. Let _go_ of me!”

“What is _with_ you?” Greed snapped. “You sounded so much friendlier asking about the old me, what makes me so different? Why do you hate me so much?”

“Don’t act like you’re innocent in all this!” the sudden yell surprised Greed, losing his grip enough for Ed to step away from it. “After everything you’ve done, you don’t get to act like you’re the victim here! Not after you took Ling-”

Ed’s eyes widened as the words slipped out, and he snapped his mouth shut before he could finish his sentence. That’s when the dots finally connected in Greed’s head. Against his will, a whirlwind of emotion flew by, from _regretsadnesspain_ to _lovelove **love**_ -

His own eyes widened. In a moment of weakness on his host’s part, a hazy memory slipped through the usually tight grip he held on his memories. Through blurry vision, he could see familiar golden eyes and hair, but something was different. He couldn’t put his finger on it, not until he snapped back to reality and saw the burning hate in the exact same eyes from the royal brat’s memory.

 _Oh, so that’s what it is_ , he realized. In the memory, the brat was _laughing_. His eyes were glowing and his shoulders were shaking with laughter as a pink blush dusted his cherubic cheeks. Now, all he could see was _hate_ and _anger_.

“Oh,” he uttered. “That’s… That’s why.”

“What?” Ed gave him a wary look. “What do you mean?”

An alien emotion stirred inside him, but Greed ruthlessly crushed it down. “You and Squinty-Eyes _dated_.”

The past-tense somehow felt worse than when he’d been impaled. Ridiculous. It’s not like they broke up, but-

But how was it possible anymore, with Greed in control of Ling’s body? If it were up to Greed, he’d _never_ release Ling. This was the bitter reality. Ed might as well give up now, because what hope did he have that Ling would be free? But he couldn’t, he _can’t_. He can’t give up on Ling, on _them_ , like that.

He’s seen a glimpse of his Ling back in HQ. Ling was still in there, he knew it!

“Dat _ing_ ,” Ed corrected bitingly. “I _will_ get him back!”

Greed ignored his declaration in lieu of an exasperated sigh. “You should give up before you hurt yourself more, kid. Your precious prince is gone, it’s just _me_ now.”

“You say that now, but you’ll see,” Ed asserted, a new fire in his eyes. Yes, Ling was strong. Maybe he _did_ give in to Greed willingly, but that’s only because he wants the stone to help people! Ling would come back. He will.

He has to.

Ignoring that small _sad_ part of his heart, Ed looked Greed in the eye and spat, “You might think you’re in control now, but just you wait. Ling will prove you wrong. Don’t get too comfortable, _homunculus_.”

Something flashed in Greed’s eyes, but it was gone in a second and replaced with a stone wall. Gritting his teeth, he said, “Why can’t you just take what you got and _accept_ it? It would be easier for both of us if you’d learn to deal with it rather than _bitch_ and _cry_ about it.”

In the heat of the moment, all the memories in his heart spun like a broken record in his head. All he could see was Ling’s face, Ling’s hair, Ling’s hands. Just _Ling_. Every day he woke up and saw that face, a small tiny voice in his head called pathetically for Ling, saying that _it has to be him_. But it’s _not_.

It’s a _monster_ that stole his skin and walked around like he _owned_ it.

And he expected Ed to just _accept_ that?

“Oh, that’s rich,” he laughed humorlessly, hollow and bitter. “What do you know, anyway? All you care about is that you have a body now. Why would it matter to you how much it would _hurt_ to see the face of someone you love on a _monster_?”

Greed had a million retorts in mind, but they stuck in his throat as that alien emotion rose to the surface again. Why did he care that the brat was hurt? He was Greed the Avaricious, of course, he was selfish! But still… hearing those words being spat at him like poison… 

“Brat-”

“No, shut _up_!” Ed interrupted. Greed noted with alarm that his hand was twitching, as though it ached to reach out and transmute his automail. More alarming was that the kid’s mask was _breaking_. He could see the way his eyes were getting wet, the way they were slightly redder than before.

As though Ed knew this, he stopped and collected his breath. He closed his eyes, exhaling softly. When he opened his eyes again, Greed could see that the fire and flickered into a matchlight, sullen and sad. Ed kept his gaze on anything but those painfully familiar eyes as he spoke quietly, “I can’t… I can’t just act like you’re some random stranger I met on the way. Not when you’re wearing that face. Because right now, I don’t see Greed. All I see is _Ling_ , and I’ll keep reliving that disappointment every time I look at your face, and I can’t handle that. I’m… I’m not that strong.”

In his stunned silence, the voice in his head only got louder. In the sense that his sad whispers echoed louder than any scream he’s heard. The royal brat had chosen this, but Fullmetal was in denial, which means he’ll keep seeing Greed as the perpetrator and never… something more.

The realization hurt him more than he’d like to admit, so he steeled his nerves and replied, “If leaving you alone will make you happy, I will. But, Fullmetal, you can’t ignore me forever. If you want to get through this war, you know you’ll have to accept this.”

Ed was uncharacteristically silent when he answered with a whisper, “I know.”

And without another word, he walked away, leaving Greed to stand in a strange silence.

_I’m sorry._

Whether he or the prince said it, he wasn’t sure.

**Author's Note:**

> Human by Manafest has been playing on loop throughout the entirety of the writing process. I'm not okay.


End file.
